Wednesday, August 31, 2005

On The Road

I come to you this evening from the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Chicago. Yes, it's a tough life.

I am having dinner tonight with a new vice president and will be in meetings here tomorrow.

Then it's off on some other adventure.

Life is good ... if you can deal with O'Hare.

Monday, August 22, 2005

A Few Doors Down From Nowhere

Work brings me to Statesville, NC this evening. If you value your life, if you hold the lives of your children and your children's children dear, you'll never set foot in this town.

Although the Hardee's that, out of necessity, served as supper wasn't bad.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Five Guys Burgers

John over at Commonwealth Conservative swoons as a result of a visit to Five Guys. I wandered into one of their burger outlets up in Springfield a while back because I had heard how good the food was there. I too found the burgers to be disgustingly great.

The unsettling aspect to my visit was in the fact that the restaurant was full of grossly overweight patrons and me (a reasonably svelte 185 at the time). I fear a direct correlation exists between the massive burgers served up by the five guys and the massive girth achieved by Five Guys aficionados.

I became haunted by the implications.

Now I'm approaching 300* and can no longer squeeze into my Speedos. I'm not sure but I believe my problems all began that terrible night that I pigged out on thick, juicy, greasy, delicious Five Guys hamburgers.

* Just kidding. I was at 186 this morning, a condition I attribute to beer consumption yesterday.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Talk About Productivity ...

Yesterday was a busy day for me in the office. I was on the phone the better part of the day setting plans for the coming year. I noticed toward the end of the day that, in the course of sending and receiving email messages, spreadsheets, .jpg's, etc, I had transferred 40 megs of data*. In a matter of 10 hours. A routine day.

I think back just ten years when we relied on the US Postal Service for communication with customers and with the organization's branch offices. My God. How did we survive as a nation?

* My first computer was a Commodor 64. It had a storage capacity of 64 kilobytes or 0.064 megs ...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

On The Road

It is a rare day that I declare a Chinese restaurant to be substandard but tonight I have to pass on a negative assessment regarding a place in Bethlehem, PA. It was really bad. You may want to avoid Pennsylvania until further notice. This is so disappointing. I mean, how do you screw up Chinese?

Anyway, I find myself here in the cradle of civilization (Get it? Bethlehem? Oh, never mind) this evening, with meetings scheduled in Easton tomorrow and more meetings on tap for Friday in Thomasville (near York).

Ah, the life of a gypsy. Who wishes he hadn't ordered the sweet and sour chicken.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

I Can't Find a Signal!!!!!!!

I pulled into Harlan, Kentucky yesterday afternoon and immediately walked into the Cingular store on the town's main street. I hadn't been able to get a signal on my phone for an hour and a half and, in my business, that's a bad thing.

I walked up to the woman at the counter, holding my cellphone - I have Cingular (AT&T Wireless) cellular service - and asked, "Can you get a signal here?" I thought there must be a secret to getting service if there was a store selling it deep in the mountains.

The woman looked at me and replied, "No."

A cell phone store where you can't get a cellular signal. I felt like passing on to her some of my marketing experience. "Don't try selling ice cubes in Iceland or sand in the Sahara."

Or cell phones where there is no service.

But I was in a hurry.

"So where do I have to go to make a call?"

"Go back to the lat (that's light to those of you who don't speak mountain) and turn left. You should git a signal when you git to the Pizza Hut. But some days are better 'n others."

Darned if she wasn't right.

I made my calls. I picked up my accumulating voicemails. I sat in the car sweating like crazy.

But I got a signal! In Harlan, Kentucky!

I bring this up for a reason. Tom Friedman, writing a column for the New York Times, wants our politicians to do something about the problem - but for those like him who live in the big city.

Calling All Luddites
By
THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN


I've been thinking of running for high office on a one-issue platform: I promise, if elected, that within four years America will have cellphone service as good as Ghana's. If re-elected, I promise that in eight years America will have cellphone service as good as Japan's, provided Japan agrees not to forge ahead on wireless technology. My campaign bumper sticker: "Can You Hear Me Now?"

I began thinking about this after watching the Japanese use cellphones and laptops to get on the Internet from speeding bullet trains and subways deep underground. But the last straw was when I couldn't get cellphone service while visiting I.B.M.'s headquarters in Armonk, N.Y.  
He goes on to say Congress should fix the problem.

I'll not hold my breath.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Ode To Babes


I try my best to do what's right,
To take no prisoners; to join the fight.
.
It's when I gaze upon these pics
I know to side with right-wing chicks.
.
And then there're those
who'd stop a clock.
.
Who look like they
crawled from a rock.
.
There is a message in this post
to those who wish to join the host.
.
I think that I'd prefer to be
a member of the GOP.

Click on image to enlarge.