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People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it. Welcome to From On High.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Today's Wisdom

James Taranto, writing in the Wall Street Journal ("Kerry's Quagmire"), on the liberal media's involvement in getting John Kerry defeated in 2004:

Conservatives love to complain about liberal media bias, and for the most part they're right. But they should count their blessings, too. Were it not for the media reinforcing the Democrats' spin, John Kerry might be president today.

Did You Hear The One About the Attorney Who ...?

Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head.

Or not.

Lawyers are about as well regarded in modern America as are open sores on one's butt.

The reason? One might be shenanigans like this (from the AP):
Lawsuit Targets Teflon's Maker
ASSOCIATED PRESS

A class-action lawsuit is being filed against DuPont Co. saying the chemical giant long failed to warn consumers on the dangers of a Teflon chemical.

Two Florida law firms said yesterday they were filing the suit in federal courts in eight states on behalf of 14 persons who bought and used cookware with the nonstick Teflon. It is made using perfluorooctanoic acid and its salts, known as PFOA, or C-8.

The plaintiffs want DuPont to spend $5 billion to replace the cookware, impose a Teflon warning label and create two funds to pay for medical monitoring and more scientific research, said Alan Kluger of Miami-based Kluger, Peretz, Kaplan & Berlin, P.L. (
link)
The fact that everyone on the planet has used DuPont's non-stick product for decades with nary an ill effect, and that experts have determined that the allegation that teflon causes any harm to humans is baseless means nothing to a handful of class(less) action lawyers. They want wealth.

So the shakedown begins.

My guess is that DuPont will ultimately settle out of court for a few hundred million.

*

A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"

"Three dollars an ounce."

"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"

"Four dollars an ounce."

"How much for lawyer brain?"

"$1,000 an ounce."

"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"

"Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"

Kill All The Lawyers

I seem to be focused on the legal profession today.

Want another reason why lawyers are held in such poor regard? They are after the Boy Scouts.

From an editorial in the Wall Street Journal:
ACLU Jamboree

The American Civil Liberties Union has found a sympathetic ear for its latest assault against the Boy Scouts. At issue is the famous Jamboree, held since 1981 at Fort A. P. Hill in Virginia ...

The ACLU argues that this arrangement breaches the First Amendment's separation between church and state. A federal judge in Chicago concurs, declaring government aid for the Jamboree unconstitutional. (link requires subscription)
Government aid to the Boy Scouts is unconstitutional. For the love of God (sue me).
Judge [Blanche] Manning didn't cancel this year's Jamboree, which will go on as scheduled next week despite the perils to the Constitution. If Her Honor paid a visit, she'd learn that the 40,000 young men aren't gathering for a tent revival meeting or Great Awakening. Mostly, they're getting together to cultivate an appreciation for the outdoors and to participate in the rites of summer camp.

More to the point, the Scouts will celebrate what they call their "bedrock values," which, yes, include faith, but also patriotism, courage, service, conservation and civic virtue. Contrary to Judge Manning's inability to "ascertain any harm to the public interest in enjoining the Jamboree," we would argue that the values the Scouts embody are vital to the national good and in need today, more than ever.

The lawyers have taken charge. God help us.

Let The Games Begin

Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY) has as much as said he'll be voting against the nominee. Senator Dick "U.S. soldiers are a bunch of nazis" Durbin (D-IL) has vowed a fight to the finish. And the ACLU is expressing "deep concern."

While the rest of us are saying, "Hmm. Nice tie. Who's the dude standing next to President Bush?"

As predicted, the left is seething over the nomination of John Roberts to fill the vacancy on the Supreme Court created by the retirement of Justice Sandra Day O'Connor.

In a press release last night (I'm sure it wasn't written in advance of the President's announcement ...), the ACLU warns that our liberties are in danger of being eliminated!
While serving as principal deputy solicitor general from 1989-1993, he authored briefs calling for Roe v. Wade to be overruled, supporting graduation prayer, and seeking to criminalize flag burning as a form of political protest.

"All these positions were rejected by the Supreme Court," said Steven Shapiro, the ACLU's National Legal Director. "But the Supreme Court remains closely divided on many of these questions."

"The stakes could not be higher," Romero added. (link)
Yawn.

I expected better from the ACLU. They had plenty of time in advance to dream up scenarios whereby Judge Roberts would be destroying our very way of life. Instead we get, "At a minimum, the Senate should determine the extent to which the positions taken in these briefs also reflect Roberts's personal views."

No deviant sexual acts. No stories about his having stomped a bunch of newborn kittens to death. Not even a link to Adolf Hitler (well, there is a reference to his having worked for Ronald Reagan).

But it's early. Strap yourselves in. These people have only just begun to fight.

And lose.

Again.

Dump Maureen Dowd

So have you missed Maureen Dowd's puerile prattle? She's on leave from the New York Times right now so that she can either read a book or write a book; I forget which.

To replace her, the Times has brought in someone named Sarah Vowell, "a contributor to public radio's 'This American Life,' [and the] author, most recently, of 'Assassination Vacation.'"

She writes well. I've decided to keep her.

This message goes out to Gail Collins, editor of the op/ed section of the NY Times. You would do your paper (with its declining readership) a favor by dumping the talentless - and insufferable - Maureen Dowd, and replace her permanently with Vowell.

Although I doubt that she and I have much in common - in today's article (Ask Me About Cleveland) she obsesses over the 2004 presidential campaign, the electoral college, and Wyoming - her writing is lucid and entertaining.

And adult.

So. Make the switch. Before Dowd returns to unleash upon us some goofy story about her fingernails being shaped poorly or some such idiocy.