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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

What If They Held An Election And Nobody Came?

Having gotten caught up in all the fevered revelry in the Virginia blogosphere this evening in response to James Webb's win in the state Democratic primary, I feel it my duty to join in by offering up Bland County results. With 100% of the precincts reporting, the vote went as follows:

H N Miller - 57 - 60.00%

J H Webb Jr - 38 - 40.00%

Vote Totals: 95 (

This stat puts the turnout for the Democratic Senate primary just behind the total number of people I had to deal with waiting at the urinals in the I-81 rest area on my way to Pennsylvania this afternoon.

95. Hell, I had more people in the room when I had my vasectomy done.

So you know, we in Bland County are all breathing a sigh of relief knowing that the MoveOn.org crowd won't accuse us of having stolen the election by forcing impatient Democrats to wait in long lines - a la Ohio 2004. No, I can safely say there were no long lines.

No word, by the way, on whether Webb will call for a recount of the Bland numbers. We have a crack team of statisticians standing by should they be called upon to recount those 95 ballots ...

Anyway, there'll be rejoicing tonight. And calls for a mandate. Momentum. And all that. It is as it should be. That's how the process works.

As far as I'm concerned, the upcoming general election contest has no downside. We'll be choosing between a conservative Republican and George Allen, a conservative Republican. No, that ain't bad at all.


Update: It is reported (see link above) that Jim Webb received one (1) vote in the Bastian precinct. We are now in the process of tracking that person down. We have reason to believe he's a habitual meth user and was blasted out of his mind at the time.