National Animal Identification System: They can make you comly! (link)Comly or comely, if they've devised a system that can better my physical appearance, well, fire up that system.
I was, however, a bit disappointed - and confounded - to find that the accompanying article had nothing to do with improving one's comeliness. It had to do with cows.
Then I turned to the Wythe News and the confusion was dispelled. The same article appears there with a somewhat different headline:
National Animal Identification System: They can make you comply! (link)I'm glad we got that cleared up. I guess.