I have to be honest, my confidence in Bland County Administrator Jonathan Sweet is teetering. First, he announced with great fanfare a couple of years ago that the town of Bland was going to become a "wireless hotspot" (which was a cool thing). You see, upon investigating, I found out shortly thereafter that the free wireless signal being transmitted from the courthouse grounds in town didn't reach across the street to my laptop computer when it was searching for that signal at B&R Auto Repair (a location that still has the "Wireless Hotspot" sign in its window).

Directly across the street. 300 feet away?

Maybe I picked the wrong day.

Though the proprietor, after letting out a chuckle, said that was the norm.

I guess you have to be sitting in the District Court room to appreciate the hotspotness of the occasion.

Since then, I've done all my blogging and net surfing here at home, using Embarq's ass-kickin' ADSL services. Yeah, it requires a cable hookup and microfilters, but at least it works as advertised. And it works great.

But I digress.

What, Jonathan Sweet, has possessed you, man?

County to take over Wolf Creek Indian Village
By Jeffrey Simmons, Bland County Messenger

The Wolf Creek Indian Village & Museum will have a new owner in early 2009. The tourist attraction will become the property of the Bland County Board of Supervisors as the Bland County Historical Society relinquishes ownership.

According to County Administrator Jonathan D. Sweet, the original deed states the property will revert to the county if the historical society ceases to operate the complex. [link]

Okay, the historical society is dumping the "tourist attraction." No surprise there since it never attracted tourists. And the county - we're in Appalachia, remember - is obligated to take ownership. Understood. A shame. But understood.

But what's this, Mr. Sweet?

“It will most certainly be a challenge for us,” Sweet stated earlier this week. “It is an asset to the county and the region as a piece of historic culture. We certainly want to explore ways to market and operate the village and museum in a way that will benefit us all.”

The only way that "Indian village" could possibly provide area residents any benefit, Jonathan, is if you run over to the Citgo, buy a few six-packs of Bud and a book of matches, invite us all over to the wigwam, and entertain us by burning the damn thing to the ground. You're actually going to "explore" ways to make a go of this silly notion? Have you lost your mind? Has Bland County come into a pile of cash that the rest of us don't know about? Have you been visiting the beer cooler at the Citgo a few too many times yourself?

Here are a few details worth grasping:

The Indian village has struggled for several years with financial problems. The project was started with a $256,230 grant from the Virginia Department of Transportation.

In June of 1997, the Indian village received a second $250,000 grant to pay for a museum. That September, the Hugh I. Shott Foundation of Bluefield, W.Va., added a $75,000 grant.

The historical society raised $75,000 to match the Shott grant and completed the funding for the museum addition.

That's two thirds of a million dollars (not counting special event fees, other donations, and museum gift shop revenue) coming in. Sweet! (a pun)

With expenses, taxes, amortization, depreciation, and interest, however, that comes up $140,000 short of where it needs to be to make the Wolf Creek Indian Village profitable.

WCIV is $140,000 in debt.

A debt that the county is going to assume:

[Sweet] noted the county will absorb the approximately $140,000 debt of the Indian village and museum. Any money the complex makes in the future will be applied toward the indebtedness, according to Sweet.

"Any money the complex makes in the future..." What a jokester that Sweet is.

Oh, and finally, there's this, just to prove that he's completely lost his mind:

Denise Smith and Penny Plummer are co-directors of the village and museum and members of the historical society. They will become county employees, according to Sweet.

The county will lease the old sheriff’s office to the historical society. It will pay insurance and utilities costs.

“We see this as a win-win situation,” Smith remarked Monday. “We’re trying to get funding to restore the old jail building. It’s a perfect spot for research because it’s so close to the courthouse. We’ll house all our records there.”

Sweet added, “This is not going to be a drain on our coffers. It’s not going to be a burden to county taxpayers.”

A win-win. Right. For Smith-Plummer for sure.

And it'll be a win-win-win-win-win-win ... [ad infinitum] if the county takes over the other abandoned buildings and failing businesses in town and seeks funding to make tourist attractions of all of them as well. Starting with that Bland Sportswear factory crumbling-shell-of-a-building that's been vacant on the edge of town for years now. Maybe we could turn it into Dollywood North. Or Ft. Apache. Indians, cavalry - get it?

Or, if we were smart, maybe we go over to Citgo, get some matches ...

It's not going to be a burden to county taxpayers, Jonathan? Are you and Obama friends? Are you expecting some kind of bailout from the feds that we haven't heard about?

Has Boucher gotten to you?

So now Bland County, home to the huge and growing Bland Ministry complex that ministers to a growing number of the Appalachian region's distressingly impoverished citizens, owns a by-God Indian village. From which profits are anticipated. Somehow.

For the love of God.