As it turns out?
We have a Mexican drug cartel problem.
Right here in Bland County, by God, Virginia.
Jim Webb says so:
Webb urges inclusion into trafficking areaReality check: At last count, we had some 6,900 people living in all of Bland County, Virginia. And we're all either related by blood or we know one another intimately. I'll freely admit that more than a few of those
Sen. Jim Webb urged the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy to add 13 Southwest Virginia counties to its Appalachia High Intensity Drug Trafficking Area (HIDTA) program. HIDTA facilitates cooperation between drug control organizations and helps federal, state and local law enforcement organizations invest in infrastructure and joint initiatives to confront drug- traffickers.
“The resources of local law enforcement in these counties have been severely depleted as police and sheriffs deputies combat the escalating amount of drug trafficking and related crime in the region,” Senator Webb wrote to R. Gil Kerlikowske, director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy. There has been a documented upsurge in drug trafficking organizations moving into the area. Senator Webb’s request would expand the Appalachia HIDTA to include the following counties: Bland County, Buchanon County, Carroll County, Dickenson County, Grayson County, Lee County, Russell County, Scott County, Smyth County, Tazewell County, Washington County, Wise County and Wythe County. [link]
So that only leaves one possibility.
They've disguised themselves as savages and have taken over the Indian Village & Museum here! (Which isn't a bad ploy; nobody ever goes there; their presence will never be discovered.)
I guess if Weird Jim Webb says it's so it must be so. We've been infested with Mexicans intent on doing us grievous harm!
Memo to Mexicans: Something you might want to consider, Pablo: Of those 6,900 red-blooded Americans who call Bland County home? A good 6,899 are heavily armed (I think that Sierra Club rep who lives up in Dismal Creek off of Brushy Mountain is the lone exception). And we're locked and loaded. And we're all upset over the defeat in the Gold Cup final last month. So surly would describe our attitude toward people-of-color-not-quite-as-dark-as-African American-but-a-little-darker-than-Barack Obama.
So take your drugs and your money somewhere else. With West Virginia and cheap booze being right up the road, and marijuana growing in abundance in every holler of Bland County, we've plenty of drugs to go around. And money? As red-blooded (survivalist) Americans, we've all converted our cash to gold and survival seeds long ago.
We don't need your steenkeeng money.