What a dilemma it is.
I got a kick out of reading "Why Mitt Romney was right about corporations," authored by some leftist named Justin Elliott in Salon.
He reluctantly concedes the fact that corporations are, indeed, human. Because the United States Supreme Court says so.
Like Webster's dictionary didn't make the point long before:
CorporationI watched as Mitt Romney tried to explain the simple meaning of the word to a bunch of Democrat hecklers in Iowa the other day. When he broke the news to them that "corporations are people, my friend," it's as if he was speaking in babbling tongues. They jeered the proposition. They jeered him. They jeered the very thought. Because they are incapable of dealing with the notion that corporations are made up of like-minded individuals banded together to achieve a shared goal.
Noun: corporation kɔr·pəˈreɪ·ʃən
1. a group of merchants or traders united in a trade guild.
2. a body formed and authorized by law to act as a single person although constituted by one or more persons and legally endowed with various rights and duties including the capacity of succession.
3. an association of employers and employees in a basic industry or of members of a profession organized as an organ of political representation in a corporative state.
To them, a corporation is some monster with a cigar in its mouth, blood dripping from its fangs, with children crushed under its cloven hooves.
In truth, they are people. Just like the rest of us.
In fact, they are the rest of us. Own a 401k? You're invested - indirectly - in one or more corporations. IRA? Same deal. Pension? Pension funds are major investors in corporate stock. Mutual funds? Ditto. You are, therefore, either indirectly as a holder of an account that is invested by someone else in the planet's corporations, or directly as a shareholder, part of a corporation.
You are part of a corporation.
And woe unto you.
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* These morons should attend a stockholders meeting sometime. They'd be shocked to learn that the owners of a corporation are just like them. Only older. And smarter. And better looking. And they smell better ...
** Speaking directly to just how smart leftists are, let me quote from Justin Elliott's op/ed to make the point that they are, by and large, stupid:
"In an instant-classic flub at the Iowa State Fair this week, Mitt Romney proclaimed, 'corporations are people, my friend.'Romney "flubbed" - "instantly," classically," - but was right.
"But his statement unintentionally hit at another, underexamined fact of American life: Corporations are people."