But 2012? A national park? In Arizona?
Have we lost our minds?
Ken Hires, an unflaggingly cheerful park ranger dressed in reassuringly normal-looking tan ranger clothes, bounded to the front of the room. Hires is what's called an interpretive ranger, which means he has no law enforcement duties and does not carry a weapon. ("I spent my five years in Vietnam. Enough shooting," he said later.) Hires explained that some law enforcement officers would be hiding in the hills and closely watching the two-hour nature hike, while another pair of armed rangers would follow the tourists closely from the ground. "They'll have M14s at hand," he told the group. "Don't be worried.""They'll have M14s at hand. Don't be worried." I'd be a little less worried if I had the M14 in hand. Or, better yet, an M4. Along with five or six extra magazines. And infrared. And a few grenades. Maybe an M9 Beretta.
Hell, throw in an AT4 or two. I want to have fun while I'm on vacation.
Don't be worried. Have a great time. Enjoy yourselves. Just hit the ground when the firing starts. Do not run. Do not panic. Should your spouse be wounded, begin life-sustenance immediately. Leave triage decisions to us. If our position is overrun, submit willingly. Chances are good that you'll be killed outright and will not suffer. Glad you're here. Hope you have a wonderful time. America's park system welcomes you.