A Day Out With The Boys

Thought I'd post a few photos of the paintball excursion I went on recently.





The good-looking guy in the front row, far left is me. The others are all drunks and derelicts.









The shirt (left photo) says "Annihilator" Jerry Fuhrman. An executive assistant's idea.


It was at this point that I'd prepared a list in my mind of which people I wanted to take down. A lengthy list, as it turned out.



The limp-wristed guy in the photo to the right is me.




Note the fella on the right. He got shot in the mouth with a red paintball. When asked what it tastes like, he replied: "like paint."

The field of battle.

Great fun had by all. Came away with only four nasty bruises from paintball impacts.

What a Joint

I told someone yesterday that I'm probably out of my element when I find myself staying in a hotel that, if I were the manager, I wouldn't allow a lowlife like me to enter. But staying here I am. Welcome to my temporary home away from home - the Rosen Shingle Creek Hotel.

I had to get a map in order to find my way around.

I need (but haven't been supplied with) a shuttle bus to get from the reservation desk to my room. 

The hotel logo is on the toilet paper in my room, for God's sake. (Think I'm not swiping that? - no pun intended.)

Nice digs.

On Deer Hunting

I've given you my reasons in the past for my having given up hunting deer. The mystique died long ago. My favorite line is this: It takes some of the fun out of the sport when I can simply walk out in my back yard and club one over the head with a hammer.

You think I exaggerate.

See the cute little creature in the photograph below? He (she?) is about to raid the bird feeder in my back yard. I walked to within eight feet of the animal this morning, snapping photos along the way, before it sauntered off. Unafraid. Unconcerned. At a leisurely pace. A bit annoyed, I think, that I interrupted breakfast. It's momma was about fifteen feet further on.
My choices:

Hunting license, wallet with IDs, topographical maps, aerial photos, toiletries, medicines, toilet paper, toothbrush & toothpaste, soap & shampoo, comb, first aid kit, binoculars & lens cleaner, spotting scope, seat cushion, water and other beverages, food & snacks, watch, knife (skinning/pocket), sunglasses, scents, backpack w/ pack frame, gambrel and pulley, game/meat cloth or bags, bone saw, electronic rangefinder w/ GPS, flashlight (small & large), extra batteries (AA, AAA, C, D, 9volt), headlamp, camera w/tripod/lenses/film/batteries, camcorder w/tripod/light/mic/charger, AM/FM radio, ammo, gun cleaning kit, bipod, camo clothing, fanny pack, gloves, mittens, wool/Nomex rain gear, poncho, cold weather boots, jacket/light/heavy, socks, wool/Polypro thermal underwear, hat, blanket, blaze orange jacket, deskunking kit, space blanket, lighters, firestarter & waterproof matches, compass, handheld two-way radios and chargers, cell phone w/ cigarette lighter cord, signal mirror, survival signal strobe, water filter/tablets, ax, tables & chairs, lanterns w/ extra mantles, cook stove w/ propane, trash bags, shovel for latrine, sleeping bags, pillows, chain saw (w/ fuel/oil/sharpener), portable heater, rope, tree limb loppers, playing cards, tarp/canopy, tent, ground cloth, water jug(s), 5 gallons of water.

Oh, and a gun.

Price tag $4,285.26.

Or:

Bird seed - 79¢ - and a pocket knife - $3.88. 

Now you understand.

A Day Of Warmth & Celebration

Jodi and Chase at the D-Day Memorial in Bedford last weekend. They were there for the gathering of Rolling Thunder. And to enjoy a wonderful day.

A Family Outing

Some of you may have been troubled to find, when you dialed up your favorite weblog on Sunday morning, that I hadn't posted anything. The world probably seemed out of kilter.

"Fuhrman didn't blog. What's going on?"

Well, there was a good reason.

There's only one thing I enjoy doing more than weblogging and that's ...

... being with family.

We had a camp-out the evening before toward the back of my property.










We hunted for newts in a mountain stream ...
















We learned all about nature ...




















We took the kids on ATV rides ... (Paula has her own ass-kickin' machine)













And we slept ...








I love you guys. But family will always come first.

The Circle Of Life

This is a butterfly bush.

Paula and I plant them because they are lovely.

And because they attract lots of butterflies.

Hence the name.

Of course the butterflies attract scads of praying mantises, which look exactly like butterfly bush stems.

The praying mantises like to eat the butterflies.

Crows love to eat praying mantises. Especially the ones fattened by the butterflies we attract.

Teenagers in the area like to shoot crows.

And when I get my hands on those teenagers ...

Thus, we come full circle.

A parable.

Why I Became A Conservative

I've told this story before but the subject matter finds its way into the news again.

Years ago, I was reading some magazine (Time? Life? Look?) and came upon an article that was depicting the adventures of Peace Corps volunteers in some faraway land. They were constructing a well for the local natives. And they were gleeful and full of pride.

The village natives too were all smiles, standing behind the white boys and girls who were building their well for them. Everyone was happy.

Except me.

I reacted by yelling at the magazine: Why can't these people dig their own well?

I understand the need and the offer of assistance, and I realize that the poverty-stricken masses may very well have required, and were probably grateful for, the donation of the materials and tools necessary to construct the well. But why did it require that these wide-eyed Americans come in and labor for them? Why couldn't they have just taught the natives how to construct their own well? Why didn't the locals already know how to dig a well? Why hadn't they dug their own well?

What was going on? What kind of people fly half way around the world to do for others that which others should easily be able to do for themselves?

Well, that was long ago.

Let's go to July, 2007:

I received my copy of Time magazine and came upon a story entitled, "Vacationing Like Brangelina." The first paragraph of the article:

Getting in touch with your inner Angelina Jolie is easier than it used to be. The so-called voluntourism industry, which sends travelers around the globe for a mix of volunteer work and sightseeing, is generating almost as much praise and criticism as the goodwill ambassador herself. Are volunteer vacations--which have become so mainstream that CheapTickets recently started letting online customers book volunteer activities along with their vacations--merely overpriced guilt trips with an impact as fleeting as the feel-good factor? Or do they offer individuals a real chance to change the world, one summer jaunt at a time?

The article was accompanied by the photo above. The caption: "Volunteers with the group Globe Aware dig a trench to lay a water pipe in Costa Rica."

Affluent white boys and girls, presumably from the USA, went down to Costa Rica to dig a trench for the locals. And were happy for having done it. And the natives, who stood around watching these northerners dig the trench for them were gleeful ...

"Overpriced guilt trips with an impact as fleeting as the feel-good factor."

I didn't get it then. I don't get it now.

Birthday Boy

Is it possible that Chase is five years old already?

Photo taken at his birthday party in Longwood Park, Salem, Virginia.

Happy birthday, Chase.

Tackling The Big Issues of the Day

I'm watching a movie on TV this morning about the life of Moses, and I'm wondering:

Why is it, whether a flick involves biblical stories from the Middle East or tales of ancient Rome, that the characters in the movie speak with a highbrow British accent?

Shouldn't Moses have a Palestinian accent? Shouldn't Nero have an Italian accent? Why British?

Just wondering.

A Fine Day For A Family Outing

Some families go to the park on a nice warm and sunny Sunday in May. Others enjoy the lake. We go shooting.

This is a photo of Kaid Fuhrman, heir to the Ponderosa, heading to the back of my property with me to shoot the livin' hell out of a dead tree with a new Beretta 9mm.

Jarrod taking careful aim. He said the tree kept moving on him. we were a bit skeptical ...
We made some noise, frightening the area wildlife. And more than a few poachers. A two-fer.

We let the kids draw rings around the results with magic markers. The groupings narrowed as we went along and as we became more familiar with the feel of the Beretta (it's very light-weight, by the way; nothing like my Colt .45 auto). Toward the end, we started keeping score. I won.

With steaks on the grill and a few Buds to top off the day (Jarrod drank that sissy beer - Sam Adams), a fun time was had by all. 

Good Time. Good Cause.

We had tons of fun yesterday at the book-signing benefit held in Roanoke for Kevin Jamerson, the Moneta firefighter who was injured on the job and who is facing staggering hospital and medical bills. I took quite a few photos of the event. I'll share a few.






You can see we had a huge turnout of fire equipment from area departments. The response is greatly appreciated.



Author and Roanoke firefighter Lt. Rhett Fleitz is seen here talking to one of the many people who came in to buy his autographed book and chat with him. As you can see, (click on the image to enlarge it) Rhett also pitched in and helped sell some of the merchandise there at the First Due Gear store.


Here, left to right, are the sponsors of the benefit drive, Jarrod and Sarah Fuhrman, and the man of the hour, Kevin Jamerson.

Thanks to everyone, and especially to Sarah and Jarrod, for making this a success. Hopefully we helped pay a few of Kevin's bills.

Thanks also go out to all of you who stopped by. My greatest reward was in being able to chat with you and get to know some of you I've only communicated with via email in the past. Such is the America we've created for ourselves ...

Again, thanks from the bottom of my heart.

A Definition

Earth Day: A calendar date that is set aside for really smart, privileged, affluent white people to assemble and provide instruction to those without intelligence or wealth on how the latter are to be sacrificing in order to save the planet's resources.

The End Of An Era

Roanoke firefighter Jarrod Fuhrman will soon be moving from Fire Station 3, which is set to close next month, and will be moving a few blocks to nice new digs. The celebration of fond memories has begun:

Roanoke firefighters celebrate Station 3 

About 150 recalled the past before the station's staff moves to a more modern building. 

By Ruth L. Tisdale, The Roanoke Times

Battalion Chief Bobbie Slayton remembered Fire-EMS Station No. 3 as one of the busiest of all the Roanoke stations.

"It was central in locations," said Slayton, who had worked on and off at the station since 1965. "Some of the finest firefighters Roanoke had to offer have come through these doors, and the same ones have gone out."

More than 150 firefighters gathered Sunday afternoon to share memories, laughs and celebrate the closing of the 98-year-old station on Sixth Street Southwest.

The station, which opened in 1909, is scheduled to close when the new station on Franklin Road opens in early May, said Roanoke Fire Chief David Hoback. 

You Need To Get a Life

First Law of Weblogging: When entering this arena, never take yourself too seriously.
--
I received an email the other day announcing the fact that, according to BlogNetNews, From On High is the seventh most influential weblog in the state of Virginia. I couldn't tell you why, nor how that opinion was derived. I made note of the fact that I was ranked just behind the kids-with-keyboards over at Raising Kaine and just ahead of Ben Tribbett at Not Larry Sabato.

I gave the news cursory thought, and I then deleted the email and went about my life.

But I got to thinking this morning that, as much as I don't care about such things, I know someone who does. I resolved to see what Ben has to say about this affront to his very being. From on High is more influential than that which he devotes his every waking moment, his very existence to? That can't be sitting well.

As I suspected, his undies are in a major bunch:

BlogNetNews has a new ranking for most influential Virginia blogs. Here's the top 10:
1) Virginia Virtucon
2) Black Velvet Bruce Li
3) Mason Conservative
4) Ward View
5) Bearing Drift
6) Raising Kaine
7) From On High
8) Not Larry Sabato
9) VB Dems
10) Below the Beltway
Lowell has some thoughts up- including the fact the guy doing this ranking used to be a Bush speech-writer. Unbelievable. Like Lowell, I'm mad- this is bordering on an outright lie-and I feel personally smeared.
By the way only four of the "Top 10" use Sitemeter, but here are the traffic levels in the last week:
Not Larry Sabato 15,979 (40,958 page views)
Raising Kaine 12,877 (36,057 page views)
Black Velvet Bruce Li 4,390 (10,063 page views)
Bearing Drift 2,517 (7,979 page views)
I don't appreciate this guy lying and misleading people. That's f***ed up.

Whew. This over a silly weblog ranking. I wonder how he'd react if I had stolen his bicycle.

Ben, three things:

1) You accuse "this guy" of misleading people and, at the same time, you mislead people by suggesting that I don't use Sitemeter. I do. I see your error as a simple oversight, however, not some plot against our democratic way of life, and certainly not an attack on my manhood.

2) The ranking is accurate. Deal with it.

3) Get your arms around the concept of influence: A power to affect persons or events, especially power based on prestige, etc.

You write gobs of stuff each day. And you have a sizeable teenage following. It can probably be said with confidence that you even influence them to want to vote some day when they are old enough. But when it comes to the power to affect adults and to affect events of consequence, well ...

... some got it and some don't, big guy.

Here's hoping you can move out of the "also ran" category when the next ranking comes out.

In the meantime, I'm seventh and you're not. Bummer.

Oh, and (4) Don't forget The First Law of Weblogging.

And I Get Paid To Do This

Had the opportunity yesterday to check out the war-readiness of our United States military. I was given a tour (albeit whirlwind) of both our Naval Air Station Oceana and the Navy Amphibious Base in Little Creek, both in and around Norfolk (which the locals pronounce Nah'fuck). I was hoping to get to Portsmouth as well but time didn't permit.

Actually I was conducting business with the Navy.

Still, I can officially report: All is in mighty good hands. Key word being mighty.

A Story

A seminary professor was vacationing with his wife in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. One morning, they were eating breakfast in a little restaurant, hoping to enjoy a quiet, family meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a distinguished looking, white haired man moving from table to table, visiting with the guests.

The professor leaned over and whispered to his wife, "I hope he doesn't come over here." But sure enough, the man did come over to their table.

"Where are you folks from?" he asked in a friendly voice.

"Oklahoma," they answered.

"Great to have you here in Tennessee," the stranger said. "What do you do for a living?"

"I teach at a seminary," he replied.

"Oh, so you teach preachers how to preach, do you? Well,I've got a really good story for you."

And with that, the gentleman pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with the couple.

The professor groaned and thought to himself, "Great, just what I need--another preacher story!"

The man started, "See that mountain over there?" (pointing out a restaurant window). "Not far from the base of that mountain, there was a boy born to an unwed mother. He had a hard time growing up, because every place he went, he was always asked the same question. "Hey boy, who's your daddy?"

Whether he was at school, in the grocery store or drug store, people would ask the same question. "Who's your daddy?"

He would hide at recess and lunchtime from other students. He would avoid going into stores because that question hurt him so much.

When he was about 12 years old, a new preacher came to his church. He would always go in late and slip out early to avoid hearing the question, "Who's your daddy?"

But one day, the new preacher said the benediction so fast, he got caught and had to walk out with the crowd. Just about the time he got to the back door, the new preacher, not knowing anything about him, put his hand on his shoulder and asked him, "Son, who's your daddy?"

The whole church got deathly quiet. He could feel every eye in the church looking at him. Now everyone would finally know the answer to the question, "Who's your daddy?"

The new preacher, though, sensed the situation around him and using discernment that only the Holy Spirit could give, said the following to the scared little boy. "Wait a minute!" he said. "I know who you are. I see the family resemblance now. You are a child of God."

With that, he patted the boy on his shoulder and said. "Boy, you've got a great inheritance. Go and claim it."

With that, the boy smiled for the first time in a long time and walked out the door a changed person. He was never the same again. Whenever anybody asked him, "Who's your Daddy?" he'd just tell them, I'm a child of God."

The distinguished gentleman got up from the table and said, "Isn't that a great story?" The professor responded that it really was a great story!

As the man turned to leave, he said, "You know, if that new preacher hadn't told me that I was one of God's children, I probably would never have amounted to anything!" And he walked away.

The seminary professor and his wife were stunned. He called the waitress over and asked her, "Do you know that man who just left that was sitting at our table?"

The waitress grinned and said, "Of course. Everybody here knows him. That's Ben Hooper. He's the former governor of Tennessee!"

* Authour unknown

Let Me Settle This

Leave it to our esteemed legislators in Congress to come up with a solution to a problem ... that won't solve the problem.

As the White House has now informed them:

White House Opposes D.C. Vote 

Constitutional Concerns Put Bill in Jeopardy
By Mary Beth Sheridan, Washington Post Staff Writer

The White House declared its opposition yesterday to a bill that would give the District its first full seat in the House of Representatives, saying it is unconstitutional, and a key Senate supporter said such concerns could kill the measure.

"The Constitution specifies that only 'the people of the several states' elect representatives to the House," said White House spokesman Alex Conant. "And D.C. is not a state."

He declined to say whether President Bush would veto the bill, but … 

Here, fellas. Let me help you out.

1) The people of Washington DC deserve the franchise.

2) The people of Washington DC are prohibited by the Constitution from voting because they don't fall into the category of "the people of the several states."

3) See map for solution.

Allow the citizens of Washington D.C. to vote as residents of the state of Maryland, with that state's proportional representation in Congress being adjusted to compensate for the influx of voters.

Problem solved.

On Business Ethics

I know a little bit about business. More than some, less than others, to be sure. And I've learned, over the years, quite a lot about the ethics that dictate the moral principles upon which business professionals operate in this our glorious system of capitalist free enterprise.

All modesty aside, I guarantee you this: I know more about the subject of business ethics than does most any professor of political science/public administration alive today. So when I read a column in the newspaper headlined "Business Unethics," written by one, he gets my attention.

And, as I suspected would be the case, the premise adopted by this particular professor of political science/public administration is completely lacking in perspective and exhibits a woeful misunderstanding of the business community, our motivations, and of the way we operate.

In today's Roanoke Times:

Business Unethics 

By Reginald Shareef, professor of political science/public administration at Radford University

The public should pay close attention to the frenzied debate in America's graduate business schools over the teaching -- or lack thereof -- of managerial ethics.

This topic has dominated writings in the leading administrative science journals for the past five years. Simply put, many business school professors now acknowledge that a cause-and-effect relationship exists between contemporary business school education (with its emphasis on profit maximization) and the recent spate of corporate scandals.

Proponents of the status quo argue that business schools should continue to teach the philosophy of pragmatism; that is, the belief there are no absolute ethical values and it is OK for the manager to engage in unethical behavior to maximize profit.

For instance, a recent study of graduates of the top 13 MBA programs found that students who believed that profit maximization was the manager's primary responsibility increased from 68 percent at the beginning of their graduate education to 82 percent by the end of their first year.

Conversely, reformers of the MBA curriculum advocate changes that teach students they are stewards for society's scarce resources and that more than money -- for instance, safe products, ecological sustainability, preventing human suffering -- are at risk when making administrative decisions. (link)

The author of this lecture goes on to what I think is his real point - the lack of armor on Humvees in operation in Iraq in George Bush's failed war, Katrina, etc. (I know it makes no sense.)

But to the points Professor Shareef makes, where to start?

Let's begin with his sources. Or lack thereof.

"Proponents of the status quo argue that business schools should continue to teach the philosophy of pragmatism; that is, the belief there are no absolute ethical values and it is OK for the manager to engage in unethical behavior to maximize profit." Really? Someone's out there teaching college students that it is okay to be unethical in your business dealings? Who?

We're not told.

Secondly, is it wise for a professor of political science to delve into subjects he knows nothing about, only to embarrass himself with this kind of jaw-dropping pronouncement?

For instance, a recent study of graduates of the top 13 MBA programs found that students who believed that profit maximization was the manager's primary responsibility increased from 68 percent at the beginning of their graduate education to 82 percent by the end of their first year.

Personally, sir, if I were a professor of a graduate level business course, and 18% of my students thought their primary responsibility as business managers was anything other than maximizing profits, I'd be alarmed. And if I found myself in the unfortunate position of supervising a numbskull - one holding an MBA for Christ's sake - who doesn't understand the primary purpose of business (preventing human suffering?!), I'd fire him. With a vengeance.

Do you honestly believe a manager's primary responsibility is not to maximize profitability (and, in turn, shareholder equity)?

Only in the cloistered halls of academia can "ecological sustainability" and "preventing human suffering" be considered more important to any businessperson. The landscape, Professor Shareef, is littered with the rotting carcasses of thousands of shattered corporations that lost sight of what should have been the primary responsibility of their managers - profit.

Those other pleasantries are fine, like "ecological sustainability," for companies that find themselves awash in cash and can afford to dabble in such things, at least temporarily, and those - like Ben & Jerry's - that use it skillfully as a marketing driver. Otherwise ...

Here's what I've picked up in the real world: Mitigating human suffering has its place. As does one's focus on recycling efforts. But maximizing profits must always reign supreme. Or you'll be doing your mitigation from the unemployment line.

Here's what I've learned also: Business ethics courses are generally worthless. What I learned in my one graduate level course amounted to little more than - bribery is a bad thing, and pulling shenanigans with the financial statements will bring on unfavorable and unintended consequences, and fraternizing with employees is now a no-no, and lying, cheating, falsifying, deceiving customers and stockholders is not good ...

... the same stuff one was taught in Sunday School.

There is no MBA course known to man that is going to prevent a scoundrel from being a scoundrel.

So. Stick to your academics. And write your letters admonishing us business managers for losing sight of what you perceive to be our "primary responsibility" if you must.

As for me, I have to get back to doing what the stakeholders in my company - shareholders, executives, board of directors, employees, families, even customers - require of me. I must earn them a profit.

Good For Them, Bad For Us

[The following article originally appeared in the Roanoke Times on December 17, 2006]

What’s Good For Them Is Bad for Us

By Jerry Fuhrman

I read with dismay in the Richmond Times-Dispatch on Monday that Governor Kaine intends to propose another series of tax increases next year in order to fix the roads up north.

It’s dismaying for two reasons: (1) the state is already so awash in cash that it is incapable of spending it fast enough and (2) the transportation issue is, by and large, a Northern Virginia issue, one that, in its being solved through higher taxes, will have an adverse effect on this area. While Northern Virginia gains nice roads, Southwest Virginia loses more jobs.

Up north, the issues of the day revolve around businesses being stacked atop one another. Smart growth (sometimes called growth management or land management), and mass transit, along with alternative fuels, are the primary topics of discussion.

Here in Southwest Virginia, our most pressing issues relate to employers and how we might gain a few. And to hold on to the few we have. We talk here of improving the quality of a woefully inadequate public education system. And of improving the quality of the drinking water. In Southwest Virginia - in 2006 – we talk about putting sewer systems into communities that have never had them.

It’s not that we don’t have our own transportation wish list. There is certainly discussion in some circles about the necessary completion of the Coalfields Expressway and about much-needed improvements to U.S. 58. Then there’s the ongoing debate about I-81 from Roanoke to Wytheville and whether it needs to be upgraded, or converted into some kind of traffic-congesting toll road.

That's all, in the big scheme of things, probably important. But generally, transportation issues aren't uppermost in the thoughts and discussions of folks around here.

What’s uppermost? Paychecks. Food. Clothing. Shelter. The kinds of things taken for granted in the fabulously prosperous north. We think about our small communities like Chilhowie and Galax and the Narrows being decimated by the loss of thousands of jobs in recent years.

What we need in order to solve our job-loss problems are employers, pure and simple. What we don’t need are more taxes adding to an already heavy burden being carried by those who provide us with an ever-dwindling number of jobs.


A message for state Senators Phil Puckett and Roscoe Reynolds, both of whom can be called upon to loyally carry the Democratic Party’s water when it’s time to vote in favor of another tax hike to solve transportation issues that are, overwhelmingly, northern Virginia issues: Your allegiance is not to Fairfax or Alexandria. You owe it to your constituents here to vote in their best interests. In fact, it goes beyond that. Your votes in favor of tax hikes do considerable damage to those who are most in need of your help.

There are those who argue that we shouldn’t be trying to pound a wedge between north and south; that we’re all ultimately in this together. Really? It’s fair to suggest that higher taxes will drive more Southwest Virginia employers out of business and our governor and most state legislators are arguing in favor of raising them and raising them again. We are all in this together to benefit whom?

We’re going to raise taxes here to pay a quarter of a billion dollars to construct a tunnel for a small stretch of rail line from Tyson’s Corner to Dulles airport (that amount is just to run it underground; the four-mile railroad extension project will cost $4 billion in its entirety) so as to not affect property values and to preserve Tyson’s scenic ambience?

We’re willing to vote people out of work in Saltville and Pulaski and Hillsville for that?

People in the state’s poorest county, Lee, are going to pay for a tunnel in Fairfax County, the state’s wealthiest, so people don’t have to look upon an unsightly train track when they stroll over to Starbuck’s for their daily Venti Peppermint Java Chip Frappuccino?

I don’t think so.

It’s time our elected representatives were on our side. That means voting to create jobs. And that is accomplished, in part, by reducing the tax burden on Southwest Virginia’s employers.

Folks up north want their roads repaired? Ain’t nobody stopping them.

Amid the Chaos And Dread ...

A U.S. Marine squad was patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious.

On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.

The Marine was conscious and alert and, as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and we both took cover in the ditches along the road. "I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein is a miserable, lowlife scum bag."

"He yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a good-for-nothing, fat, left wing liberal drunk."

"So I said that Osama Bin Ladin dresses and acts like a mean-spirited lesbian!"

"He retaliated by yelling, Oh yeah? Well, so does Hillary Clinton!"

"And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us."

Author unknown.

Who's The Real Bigot?

[The following article originally appeared in the Roanoke Times on Thursday, December 28, 2006.]

Now who's the bigot?
By Jerry Fuhrman

Well, ol' Virgil has stepped in it this time. As you may have seen or read, Virgil Goode, 5th District representative from Southside, sent a letter dated Dec. 7 to a number of his constituents, expounding on his personal belief that the recent election of a Muslim from Minneapolis to Congress was the beginning of the end of civilization. Or nearly so.

Had he stopped there, Mr. Goode would have been in trouble enough. God knows we don't say bad things about Muslims in this day and age and get away with it, even if some are inclined to want our children and grandchildren slaughtered in the streets of our cities. Or so it seems. We don't want to get them madder at us, that's for sure.

But Goode went well beyond trashing a Muslim congressman-to-be, who has stated that he intends to use the Quran next month at his swearing-in ceremony. Goode also took the time to denounce illegal immigration, a subject about which many conservatives agree, and to call for reductions in legal immigration as well, something with which most of us don't.

Lord have mercy.

As a result of the publication of his letter, the good congressman has suddenly been thrust into the limelight, finding himself trying mightily to defend his positions to the press. I'll leave it to others to decide whether he's been successful. And I'll not defend him here. He's on his own.

But for those of you who think Goode is a bigot or a xenophobe or a knuckle-dragging throwback, have you the same thoughts and feelings about the Muslim who prompted this uproar? If you're unaware of this guy's history but were now to find out that he is an adherent of one of the most bigoted and hate-consumed Americans alive today -- rivaled perhaps only by Al Sharpton and David Duke -- would you be prepared to denounce the incoming congressman as willingly and as vehemently as you are Virgil Goode?

Keith Ellison is said to be of the Muslim faith. In truth, he is a disciple of the Nation of Islam, Louis Farrakhan's fanatical black nationalist religious sect that calls for the complete separation of black America from the rest of society.

Malicious toward whites in general, Farrakhan and his followers save their most venomous hatred for Jews. From his lips, in a speech at a mosque in Chicago in 2003 and earlier on "Meet The Press": "You say I hate Jews. I don't hate the Jewish people, I never have. But there [are] some things I don't like. ... I don't like the way you leech on us. See a leech is somebody that sucks your blood, takes from you and don't give you a damn thing. See, I don't like that kind of arrangement."

He went on: "I believe that for the small numbers of Jewish people in the United States, they exercise a tremendous amount of influence on the affairs of government. ... Yes, they exercise extraordinary control, and black people will never be free in this country until they are free of that kind of control."

But what does this have to do with Ellison, you ask? This: The man who once went by the name Keith X Ellison has never renounced his affiliation with the most hate-driven organization in America. To this day, he is an enthusiastic supporter of Farrakhan, his grossly malevolent pronouncements and the principles upon which the Nation of Islam stands.

Ellison is a home-grown radical Muslim. And he's soon to be a member of Congress. Had Rep. Goode focused on this issue, he'd have gone on record as having brought up a subject that few people in this country seem to want to address but will, at some point, need to.

Having dragged the immigration issue into the discussion, though, Goode has brought upon himself an endless string of denunciations. Perhaps deservedly so.

That having been said, I ask once again: For those of you who think Goode is a bigot, have you the same thoughts and feelings about the Muslim who prompted this uproar? If your answer is no, I ask you this: Who's the bigot now?

Break Out The Bubbly

[The following column appeared in the Roanoke Times on Thursday, December 4, 2006]

Silver Lining In High Fuel Prices?
By Jerry Fuhrman

I have a theory. Call it the Fuhrman Theory of Southwest Virginia Macroeconomics. Or simply call it crazy.

It's been in development for years and came to me once again after reading two different news articles in The Roanoke Times in recent days -- "U.S. retail gas prices continue to creep upward," (Dec. 5) and "Furniture makers protest rate plan," (Dec. 7). Both articles involve the rising cost of our two most precious necessities -- fuel and electricity -- a circumstance that will undoubtedly be having a disagreeable impact on area consumers and business owners. Disagreeable, that is, unless one looks to the future and sees something of a silver lining.

Let's talk about foreign competition. One of my earliest recollections as it relates to jobs being shipped overseas has to do with baseball gloves. There was a day when Spalding, Wilson and Rawlings ruled the industry -- no Nike, no Mizuno, no Nokona -- with those three U.S. manufacturers producing 100 percent of their mitts here in the United States.

But in the mid- to late-'70s a change started taking place. American companies began seeking deals with plants in Japan and later Korea to provide ball glove inventory for the American masses. Great deals. Such great deals that factories here began to cut back on production and eventually began to close.

What was difficult for me to understand at the time was that the raw materials -- the hides that were used to build the ball gloves -- continued to come from this country, from American beef cattle. Huge stocks of untanned leather would be gathered up at slaughterhouses in Omaha, bundled, put on trains heading to the nearest port, loaded on ships bound for Osaka and trucked over to the baseball glove plants, where our kiddies' ball gloves were made. The finished products would then be shipped back here for sale.

It cost less to ship raw materials halfway around the world and have low-wage, no-benefit employees work them into finished goods that were shipped (halfway around that same world) back here than it did to have those same commodities manufactured here. And the exodus of American jobs began.
The predominant factor in the decision-making over the last few decades has been the price of labor. Villagers in the jungles of Indonesia work cheap and don't demand dental and optical benefits. Far down the list of production costs are -- were -- transportation and utilities.

That's changing. Rapidly.

With the price of oil climbing once again, the cost of transporting raw materials is rocketing skyward, as is the cost of manufacturing itself (due to rising heating, cooling, lighting, energy bills). Thus both are becoming key factors with which to reckon.

It is soon going to be an expensive proposition to ship timber that was cut from the forests of Tazewell County to China where that Wal-Mart bookcase is made and then to ship the finished product back to Tazewell County for sale.

Looking back, it's easily understood why America's leading furniture manufacturers had processing and finishing plants in Southwest Virginia. This is where the raw materials are, and where the productive, skilled workforce is.

Perhaps, just perhaps, until that (inevitable) time when another cheap fuel -- and with it, cheap electricity -- comes along, our furniture companies will see expansion opportunities and prosperity once again.

Gasoline and energy prices are going up. So break out the bubbly.

There is, of course, a downside to all this. Besides the increase in prices consumers will pay, the vast majority of the exports that depart the state of Virginia this year for foreign lands were finished goods. So rising transportation costs and more expensive electricity will be bringing about considerable upheaval on the export side of the equation.

Still, looking to Southwest Virginia, where we are graced with a perpetual abundance of raw materials, that dark cloud that has been hovering over our heads these many years might just have a silver lining once again.

Showdown

[The following column appeared in the Roanoke Times on Thursday, December 7, 2006]

Preparing For The Party Fight
By Jerry Fuhrman

It's high noon in the OK Corral. The Clanton gang looks warily upon its foe. The desperados array themselves tactically opposite Wyatt Earp and his deputies. All have loaded their weapons and are preparing for the epic gunfight. The outcome of this battle, very much in doubt, will determine who controls Tombstone.

To better understand the epic duel, think of the commonwealth of Virginia as Tombstone, the state legislature as the OK Corral, and the Clanton gang as the Democrats. Now think of the Republicans opposite them -- Wyatt Earp and his deputies -- being hog-tied, muzzled, bleeding profusely from previous encounters, with broken legs and arms, nearly blinded, and with delirium and fever having set in. And they're low on ammunition. Oh, and half the Earp posse has gone over to the Clanton side.

Welcome to the Big Transportation Funding Debate -- 2007.

The nature of this larger-than-life face-off probably began when former Gov. Mark Warner succeeded in pulling a handful of spineless Republicans over to his side to end the education funding debate in 2004, an act of cowardice on their part that resulted in a massive tax increase being foisted upon the people of Virginia and levels of improvement in our education system being ... well, they really didn't change at all. But that's for another day.

Then came Republican Jerry Kilgore's trouncing in the governor's race last year. An avowed conservative, Kilgore's message, convoluted though it became, by all accounts never resonated with the people of Northern Virginia (though he remained wildly popular in all other regions of the state) and he was defeated handily by a temporarily conservative foe who took away Kilgore's thunder by vowing to not raise taxes under any circumstances.

Which brings us to Gov. Tim Kaine's tax increase proposal of 2006. Though smarting from Kilgore's loss and the betrayal of formerly stalwart Republicans in the previous tax hike wars, party loyalists, led by Roanoke's Morgan Griffith and his band of courageous House delegates, did what was seemingly impossible: They stopped a powerful and influential bloc, referred to famously as the "axis of taxes," comprised of senators of both parties, Democrat House members, the mainstream press, public school and university administrators, and every other group in the state with a hand in your pocket, in their tracks. Because of their valiant efforts, the people of Virginia were spared another massive tax increase in 2006 that would have followed close on Warner's massive tax increase of 2004.

Then came Sen. George Allen's shocking loss last month, followed by recriminations within the party and the obligatory soul searching:

"We've lost touch with the people of Northern Virginia." "We haven't taken into account the rapidly changing demographics in Northern Virginia." "We need to understand that 60 percent of the population growth in the commonwealth, much of it 'ethnic,' is in Northern Virginia." "Traditional family values are unimportant in Northern Virginia; education, transportation, and 'smart growth' are the important issues in Northern Virginia."

Northern Virginia, where Republicans and Democrats, male and female alike, old and young, white and black (and ethnic) unite in a grand desire to raise everyone's taxes beyond their means to resolve problems that citizens in the remainder of the state would give their eyeteeth to have, all relating to explosive growth and eye-popping economic prosperity.

You can see it coming. Republicans suddenly feel like they're on the ropes and there's only one way to get right with the people. Listen to Rep. Tom Davis's (R-Northern Va.) assessment to The Washington Post after the election:

"This is a challenge to our leaders in our legislature to find some common ground. The voters look at our legislature today and see the fighting between the different factions and say: 'Are we capable of governing?' That's going to be our challenge in 2007."

Translation: You knuckle-draggers in the party need to compromise or we're doomed.

So Morgan Griffith and his cohorts, Reagan conservatives in that fine tradition, the only elected officials remaining in office in the state of Virginia who remember the ones what brung 'em, are soon to begin assembling in the OK Corral for the fight of their lives. For the fight of our lives.

Bruised, battered, bloody, bandaged -- but not bowed -- they face a formidable foe.