- God, every part of my body aches. But it is not a girlie-man ache; it's that pleasurable ache one feels after having done back-breaking work in the hot sun, sweated as only real men can, and completed that which needed to be accomplished by end of day.
- You want to know why I didn't use my backhoe. I'm married. I don't have one.
- You want to know why I didn't use my front-loader. I'm married. I'm not allowed to buy one.
- You want to know why I don't have a cute little woman from the Philippines who is illegally in this country and knows that I know it. Me too.
Update: Boy, am I in trouble. Paula read this post and somehow sees it as reflecting negatively on her. So I feel the need to retract points 2 through 4.